Ignore the frightened fundamentalists: Hookup culture is, has been, and will always be. Not every romantic escapade is done with a white picket fence in mind; sometimes you just want to get off.
If you’re the type to need a relationship to be intimate, that’s fine. But if you’re not so commitment-inclined, casual dating can be a healthy and fulfilling recreation. However, you definitely need to play your cards right. Here’s some helpful tips when it comes to hooking up.
1. Be honest
There’s a lot of people looking for casual sex out there. However, they’re virtually indistinguishable from the people looking for something serious.
If you’re the type who would claim to be the latter to trick your way into someone’s pants, you’re kind of a dick. And you’re also setting yourself up for a serious headache in the long run, as you have to deal with the fallout later on when your hookup realizes there’s no future. Hooking up is supposed to be fun with no strings attached – so avoid tying a string around your neck by lying.
2. Don’t blur the line
Once you do find your hookup, be careful to avoid doing things that might imply romance. Even something as simple as cuddling after sex can release oxytocin, the chemical responsible for attachment.
But it’s not just physiologically that attachment can be implied. Seemingly innocuous phrases can be rife with romantic connotations like “you’re beautiful” or “I like you” can suggest that there’s more going on than just physical. Keep it casual.
3. Know when to cut it off
Sometimes, the other person will start seeming to want more. If they’re starting to get attached and you aren’t feeling the same, you need to break it off in an unsubtle way. Be polite, but direct – just ghosting away will just lead to hurt feelings, or worse – an inbox full of “pls respond.”
4. Don’t just focus on yourself
A bad habit of a lot of men is to just focus on themselves in the sack, but a hookup is a mutual affair. If you’re just trying to screw-and-run, well, fine, but setting up a friends with benefits is the far better approach to casual sex. It can be an unreliable chore to have to find someone new every night just to disappoint them in the sack. Blow their mind, however, and you can almost guarantee that a steady lay with no strings attached will just be one text away on any given night.
5. Have fun!
There’s a lot in this article that’s been negative, but that’s just because hooking up can occasionally lead to some sticky situations. But overall, don’t forget the plus-sides to it! Hooking up can be a great time. You’re free to experiment without worrying about hurting a relationship – remember, you can just cut it off if things get weird.
If you go in with the wrong mentality, you’re guaranteeing failure. Take it easy and have a good time about it.